From Burnout to Balance

by Kelsey Parker

Stephanie Nesselhuf knew she needed to make a change.


Nesselhuf is the owner of Shifting Spaces, LLC. If you follow her on Instagram, you’ll see the magic she’s created from shifting fixer-uppers into beautiful properties. Nesselhuf has a big job as a General Contractor — working 70-80 hours per week. Each day is different and has different challenges than the last. “Just when I think I have a plan down, there is a toilet that leaks or a sub-contractor that doesn’t show up or someone that shows up early.”


In addition to flipping houses, Nesselhuf has an EdS in School Psychology and works six days a month as a school psychologist during the school year.


Like employers across the nation, Nesselhuf was struggling to find willing and able workers and was having issues with sub-contractors showing up on time ... or at all. “The most stressful things for me ... with the lack of people willing to work or sub-contractors willing to show up for scheduled appointments.” As a dedicated business owner, Nesselhuf had to do whatever it took to get the job done. This oftentimes meant long days and missing out on spending quality time with friends and family.


Nesselhuf felt she had no work-life balance. “Zero balance. It is literally work seven days a week. I am unable to enjoy the home that I worked so hard to remodel. The marriage that I waited so long for to enjoy. The only time I remotely relax is when I go out of town, but even then, I am always on the phone or ordering materials or stressed out wondering if guys are showing up or doing what they should be doing.”


The stress of her work was affecting her personal relationships and Nesselhuf’s health. “I could feel my health failing and I didn't want to get to the point where I had a heart attack or stroke. I saw the signs coming and I didn't want to be that person that worked themselves into a grave. I started telling those around me that this money is not worth it if I am dead.”


So, Nesselhuf made the courageous decision to make a change. She decided she needed more balance, more time with loved ones, and an opportunity to focus more on her health. So, about three months ago, she stopped buying houses to flip.


However, Nesselhuf isn’t letting go of her passion for real estate. She decided to take real estate classes and is planning on finding work that highlights her natural talents and passion for real estate and design, while continuing her work as a part-time school psychologist.


Nesselhuf is excited for her next chapter and “getting [her] jam back.” “I am looking forward to golfing, yoga, biking, and really taking care of myself more in the next few years.”


To hold herself accountable, all while inspiring others to evaluate whether they’re experiencing burnout, Nesselhuf posted on Facebook about her struggle and plans for change.


“I think the first thing is to recognize it in yourself and then talk about it. Publicly admitting it and letting people know that it is ‘a thing’ and okay to talk about it. Personally, I posted it on my Facebook page for a few reasons. One, to hold myself accountable. Two, to see if others saw it in themselves and it if would help them. I had three friends reach out to me privately and want to talk after that post. I think that people struggle with stress, burnout, work addiction, whatever you call it, and it is imperative that people talk about it. Otherwise, people are embarrassed and feel as if they are the only ones that struggle and feel that way."

Gardening Advice for Beginners

by Kayla Gahagan

Ready to start a garden? The experts say to keep it simple and keep these Black Hills-spe-cific influences in mind: deer and hail. “Make sure you’re prepping for the elements,” says Lincoln Anderson, owner of the Plant Shop at Aspen Ridge. Deer fencing is an option for keeping out hungry deer and rabbits, and hail netting can minimize damage or prevent hail damage altogether.


Raised gardens and containers on porches have become more and more popular for those new to gardening or for those who don’t have the space in their backyard or apartment for a garden. Vine plants like cucumbers, tomatoes, and pumpkins are a great place to start for beginner gardeners, Anderson says. If you enjoy cooking, starting a small herb garden can be the perfect way to add flavor to your meals, while saving some money on fresh herbs from the grocery store.  Tim Sim, one of the owners of Jolly Lane Greenhouse, says he has also noticed more demand for raised garden beds for aging gardeners. “It’s more convenient to work, especially the older you get,” he says. “It’s also nice if you don’t have a great big yard.” 


When is the best time to start your garden? May is the best month to plant outside, with May  20th  marking  the  average  last  day  for  frost.  Onions  and  broccoli  can  go  into  the  ground earlier, but peppers, tomatoes, and plants on the vine need the warmer weather, Sims says.  


Don’t get discouraged if your garden doesn’t flourish enough to host a stand at a local farmers market. Anderson says beginners should keep perspective — gardening can be trial and error. “The nice thing about a garden is that you can replant and try again,” he says. “But really, you can have very good success with gardening here in the Black Hills.” 

5 Intentions of Wellness for Your New Year

By Rachel Wester

The history of setting New Year’s resolutions dates back thousands of years to the ancient Babylonians. Babylonians held celebrations in the New Year and made promises, or what we would call resolutions, to their gods. They believed that if they followed through with their promises, their gods would bestow favor on them for the coming year, and in failing to do so, they would fall out of the gods’ favor. Remnants of this ancient tradition still exist today as many cultures across the globe set New Year’s resolutions. As we enter a new year, I encourage you to set a resolution, or call it an intention, with your fellow Black Hills Woman readers to greet the new year with wellness in mind.


Before we dive into simple ways to create a sense of wellbeing, let us first connect with our body through our breath. Find a comfortable seat and bring awareness to your body by feeling into any part of your body that is resting against a chair or on the ground. Soften your gaze and release any tension in your face and jaw by unclenching your teeth and releasing your tongue from the top of your mouth. Take one deep breath, inhale through your nose, and sigh it out of your mouth. Repeat two more times, noticing the swell of your ribcage as you inhale and the softening of the shoulders as you exhale.


Remain seated and reflect on your experiences of the last year as if it were an old film strip rolling through a projector. Move through your experiences, navigating through your moments of joy with loved ones; lean into your moments of triumph and do not shy away from your lessons learned. End on a moment where you felt joyful and at peace. What words come to mind when you describe this experience? The words may be joyful, grateful, loved, supported, and appreciated, to name a few. Consider using this word to help you create an intention to guide you in your new year. 


It is no surprise that our previous experiences and emotions impact how we feel and act in daily life. My goal is to leave you with tools that can be easily incorporated into your life to help you feel balanced and have an overall sense of wellbeing. Here are five simple practices to lead you into a new year with wellness in mind.


Unplug and get out in nature. 

The Black Hills have been considered sacred for thousands of years and we are lucky to live amongst the beauty of this land. Finding a sense of peace in the Hills does not have to come in the form of long, arduous hikes. Take a walk around Canyon Lake or go for a hike in the Skyline Wilderness Area and take in the stunning views of Rapid City and the surrounding area. Take a drive around Custer State Park to view the Black Hills’ native animals and enjoy a short walk to the scenic Heddy Draw Overlook. Take in the stillness of frozen Sylvan Lake during the winter months and listen to the song of the tall pines as they sway in the South Dakota wind.


Establish a movement practice…that you enjoy. 

Movement comes in different forms and is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Do you enjoy taking your dog for a walk, crushing cardio or strength training, moving slowly in a yoga class, taking a hike or mountain biking in the Black Hills, dancing with your children, or gardening? When we exercise, endorphins are released, and these neurotransmitters help increase feelings of pleasure and well-being as well as aid in reducing pain and discomfort. Explore movement practices that leave you feeling rejuvenated.


Create a daily gratitude practice. 


People who regularly practice gratitude by reflecting upon things they are thankful for experience more positive emotions, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and may even have stronger immune systems. Consider greeting your day with a brief gratitude exercise by writing down three things you are thankful for, and get specific. For example, “I’m thankful for my partner or best friend because he/she did x.”  Feel what comes up in your body when you focus on people, things, and experiences you are thankful for.


Create community connections.


Research suggests that individuals who feel a sense of belonging and trust in their community have better health. Say “hello” to the person next to you at your workout class; shop at locally owned businesses for your morning cup of coffee or tea, drinks and dining out, groceries, and gifts; and strike up a conversation with a fellow attendee at a community event like a class at the Dahl Arts Center. Learning about the people behind the scenes who lead these vibrant businesses in our community gives us a powerful sense of connection. 


Slow down and pause to become more present. 


Taking a moment to pause gives our minds a chance to reboot, boosts our energy, and may even increase productivity. Living in a society that encourages constant electronic connection can be exhausting. Many of us are guilty of picking up our phone at a traffic light or while waiting in line, checking email out of habit, or reacting in a conversation. These are invitations to explore, pausing in the moment to bring awareness to what is happening in your mind and body. Check in with yourself: how do I feel? How do I want to feel? It is easy to lose connection to the present moment, and the art of gaining and maintaining that presence does not happen overnight. It takes a concerted effort and may even be a lifestyle shift that rewards you with unique perspectives on what truly matters to you, your feelings in the process, and your reactions to all of it. 


You do not have to do everything, and you do not have to do it all at once. You are more likely to do things you enjoy, so tailor your intentions to your life. Most importantly, bestow favor upon yourself by meeting yourself with compassion along the way.